Top 5 bands to see at Coachella in the rain

So it looks like the gods have had enough of Coachella and Goldenvoice thinking they can just do whatever the hell they want.  Two weekends?!  Are you serious?!  Haven’t we given you enough already!  How many times do you want to collect $350 during this recession from the poor people of earth?  Oh, as many times as you possibly can?  OK, cool.  Here’s a fucking storm!  But don’t worry Coachelleans, Rabbits Black has your rain-soaked party plans covered.  Here are the Top 5 bands to see at Coachella if it’s raining cats and drugs…. I mean dogs.

Most likely Goldenvoice will launch a rocket towards the storm on Saturday morning with the money they saved from not booking Black Sabbath and Sharon Osbourne (I think she’s on drums this tour)- dissipating the rainy weather by the afternoon.  But it’s still very likely that the storm lingers around for awhile, or at the very least it’s going to be a mud pit around Coachella for a few days.  So we put together the Top 5 bands to see at Coachella if it turns into a rainy mess.  Most of the bands will be for Friday, but we added a few must-see sloppy acts for Saturday and Sunday as well.  If it rains, change your plans of seeing Bon Iver, and go have some fun instead!

5. The Hives (Sunday)

The Swedish rockers wear full matching suits on stage, which seems pretty adverse to the rain and mud swimming that could ensue, but they play a blend of rock n’ roll that is down right fun.  If you don’t mind being berated by crazy Swedes in suits while you slip and fall all over your face, this could be an awesome show.  They’re not punk rock, but they are fun and have enough tunes that will keep you dancing and smiling the whole time regardless of the weather.

4. Le Butcherettes (Sunday)

You know the band is insane when the lead singer is called Teri Gender Bender.  Le Butcherettes are gnarly in every way- they freak out on stage, play a psychotic brand of garage punk, spit blood, scream into mics, and are from a foreign country (Mexico, but it counts).  They were the perfect compliment to Iggy Pop at the Palladium a few months ago, which tells you all you really need to know.  The great part about not being able to understand half of the shit Teri says is that you will be more focused on staying alive and not drowning in a mud pool.

3. Atari Teenage Riot (Friday)

Is it dub step, is it electronic dance, is it hip hop, it it thrash metal?  It’s a little bit of both, and it’s in your face!  Atari Teenage Riot have a song called “Start The Riot”.  Do we need to keep writing?  Fine.  We stayed away from electronic sets and DJs in the Sahara tent for this list, because they are playing in a tent dammit!  That’s no fun in the rain.  But we broke the rules with Atari Teenage Riot, so trust us when we say you want to see this band put the electronic clash of all genres into a beautiful symphony of destruction and riot starting mayhem.  This will be awesome!  Listen to “Start The Riot” here:

2. Refused (Friday)

If you are looking for the biggest and messiest mosh pit of all during the eye of the storm, head on over to Refused.  They are playing against The Horrors and Swedish House Mafia, two acts who will also be amazing at Coachella and deserve your time.  As much as we love Swedish House Mafia, it’s just dangerous to have all of those turntables and electronics in the rain!  The Horrors are great, but more like sit in your room and enjoy the rain from your window great.  So we are left with Refused, the only hardcore punk band at Coachella this year near the top of the lineup.  Expect your usual hardcore mayhem, but mix it in with some heavy rain and lightning, and oh yes this will be very very frightening!  Listen to “The Shape Of Punk To Come”:

1. The Black Lips (Saturday)

Yes, they are in a tent, we know.  But still, I really hope the rain keeps going until 4 PM on Saturday.  That’s just enough time to give The Black Lips their opportunity to fuck shit up.  The last time we saw the Lips, they had calmed down their stage antics a bit (bummer, I know), but what better way to get them back to their roots than some cruel weather.  They’ve been known to piss, vomit, set fires, pound beers, thrash instruments, make-out with each other, and stage dive to their hearts content all while playing some of the most fun loving and drug-inspired tunes around.  If there’s one band at Coachella that has that instant party factor going for them, The Black Lips are it.  Mix some downpours with some long pours of beer and whiskey, and get ready to try to set all types of wet things on fire!